


Drunk Misdial

by FinkPloyd



Category: South Park
Genre: Adulthood, Adults, Alternate Universe, Awkward Romance, Cute Ending, Drunk Dialing, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Eric Cartman - Freeform, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Implied Relationships, Kyle Broflovski - Freeform, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinkPloyd/pseuds/FinkPloyd
Summary: Kyle is drunk and can't remember Stan's phone number.





	Drunk Misdial

**Author's Note:**

> Hot damn I've been in the swing of writing. I'm whipping this stuff out all over the place. I feel like this is a tad OOC so my apologies.  
> So here's a little fluffy Kyman for you.

It was Eric’s usual Saturday night. He had his beer, greasy pizza, and gory first-person shooter video game. He was relaxed, which he always was at 11PM on a Saturday. All stress from work melted away as soon as the first swig of beer was swallowed. He didn’t hate his job, it just put him on edge too often. Eric was loading up his game and ready to join a team until his cellphone began chirping for him.

He picked it up and didn’t recognize the number, but he decided to answer anyway. Maybe it was important if this person was calling at this time. Sighing, he clicked the green button to accept the incoming call.

“This is Cartman.”

Confusion clouded his mind when he heard an odd noise on the other end of the line. It sounded like something spilling and then glass shattering. This was definitely someone he didn’t know but he was curious so he stayed on the line.

“Stanley! What the hell are you doing with Wendy?” The voice was belonged to a man. A clearly drunk man. 

He was confused as to why he said Stanley when he answered the phone by stating his name. However this person was clearly drunk, so maybe he thought Cartman was some greeting or he didn’t even pay mind to it.

“Stanley you left me, you son of a bitch,” The voice sounded like this person was borderline crying, “Don’t you remember me? Ky-ky...”

Eric wasn’t 100% sure what was going on but he wanted to guess this man’s ex-partner was Stanley. He felt awkward being on the end line of a pathetic angry, sad drunk dial to this guy’s ex. He decided to announce his presence because the angel on his right shoulder told him it was the right thing to do.

“This isn’t Stanley, this is Eric Cartman.” Eric felt weird talking to a drunk stranger via telephone, but it was also fairly interesting to him. He heard a shift of something through the phone speaker pressed to his ear.

“Cartman is a funny name.”

Eric should of felt offended normally but this was coming from a drunk stranger so it was funny rather than annoying. 

“Maybe it is. Ky-ky, was it?” His tone was laced with amusement.

“Noooo. My name is Broflovski Kyle. Wait no. Flip it. Kyle Broflovlovlovski.” The man was slurring his words and giggling. 

“Okay Broflovlovlovski, what did you drink that got you so hammered?” Eric wasn’t sure why he was engaging in a conversation with this man named Kyle. However this was the most exciting Saturday night that he experienced in awhile so he decided to roll with it.

“Uhh I think an entire bottle of Coconut Smirnoff. What did you drink Carty?” Kyle laughed again.

“Guinness. Do you recommend Coconut Smirnoff or will I get wasted like you are right now?” 

“If you wash it down with regret, rage, and remorse then you’ll be fucked out of your mind Carty.” Kyle seemed to be sobering up and Eric felt a bit sad at the thought of their phone call ending. 

“Ah the three R’s, I don’t believe I’ve had the honor of becoming that hammered. Something really shitty must of brought this on, Broflovski.” 

“It was truly stupid. I let my pride and I’ll admit heart get bruised by someone I believed I could trust with anything and everything. Do you know how that feels Carty?” Kyle’s voice went from humorous to holding a deep sorrow that Eric hoped Kyle would never experience again. It was odd how he barely knew this man and hadn’t even seen his face, but he felt for him. 

“On some level, yes I do Kyle. I hope to never feel that ache again, and I hope that for you as well.” Eric didn’t realize that sounded affectionate until he said it. The other end of the line remained silent for a brief moment. 

“How old are you Cartman?” 

“I’m 26 years old, how old are you Broflovski?”

“28. What do you look like Cartman? Describe yourself to me...please?” 

Eric wasn’t typically someone to be nervous when put on the spot, he prospered off that. However in this moment, in his one bedroom apartment with the television humming in the background and his pizza turning stone cold, Eric was uncomfortable. 

He cleared his throat a bit, “I’m 5’6”, not too short and not too tall in my opinion,” Kyle laughed at that, “My hair is brown, just plain brown. Not brown that’s disguised with a fancy name. Just brown. My eye color is also the exciting shade of brown. I’m plain as hell, I know. I won’t give out my exact weight, but I’m big boned. I’m not a fatass I swear.” 

Kyle laughed, “You don’t sound plain. You sound very handsome.”

Eric almost choked on his Guinness, he hadn’t be referred to as handsome in a long time.

“What about you, Kyle? What do you look like? When you’re not drunk.”

“Okay, when I’m not a drunk mess, I’m 5’11”. So would you say that’s too tall? My eyes are green, which all the bitches fall for. My hair is a huge curly mess, I can’t keep that shit in line. Oh and it’s red. I can confirm gingers are not evil, hold off the angry mob please.”

Eric was laughing throughout the whole description, “Really? I could of sworn your kind was evil. I’ll have to put my pitchfork away then. Okay but seriously, you sound quite cute.” 

That wasn’t a lie, according to his imagination, Kyle was very handsome. Eric wondered if they would ever become friends, and continue talking. Maybe they would meet someday and he could confirm that Kyle was handsome. Somewhere inside him, there was an ache for that to happen.

…

It was now 4AM. Eric had been on the phone with Kyle for over 6 hours and he never wanted it to end. He had work in two hours but he didn’t give a damn. Eric would stay on the phone with him up until he was about to step foot into his workplace. 

“Fuck is it really 4AM?” Kyle laughed.

“Yeah I guess so, you need rest. You’ll wake up with a hell of a headache though.” Eric sighed, reluctant to end the call.

“Hey, would it be okay if I saved your number maybe…? This was cool. It would be nice to talk more.” Kyle sounded uncertain and Eric found it adorable.

“Sure, that would be fun. Okay go to sleep Kyle. Don’t let bed bugs bite your ass.” 

“Alright Eric, goodnight. Thank you by the way, you didn’t have to stay on talking to me for 6 hours.” 

“It’s okay. I wanted to.” Eric smiled and his heart fluttered a bit at that acknowledgement.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for giving this a read, that's what inspires me to write more.  
> I hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
